Student Voice

When the Liver and Kidney Give Out

(October 2018)

I promise

It wasn’t because I didn’t think you deserved better.

When we talked that morning, I was so fresh

So naïve.

My lack of knowledge is what misled you.

I am sorry for that.

I did not understand how bad things had truly become.

With clueless gestures

With subtle positivity

I made you feel like things could get better.

They couldn’t.

This path had been set in motion

Years before we met.

When I came back with “our team”,

I had only sadness to share with you.

Before stepping in your room, I had been educated.

I truly understood how sick you were.

My “team” decided I needed to tell you

You would not live to see a new year.

I had about 4 minutes to process this.

4 minutes to accept and be prepared to explain

We are not going to fix you.

I put on my bravest face and delivered the news

As best I could.

I will carry this guilt.

I’ll always feel like I blindsided you.

I promise

It wasn’t because I didn’t think you deserved better.



Judas Kelley