I talk (over video chat) to many students in the healthcare professions through my position at Student and Resident Mental Health at the CU Anschutz Medical Campus. Since the COVID-19 pandemic and its requirement for social distancing began in mid-March, a common theme in our conversations has appeared. These once ambitious, hardworking, stoic doers are surprised they can’t engage themselves in activities, despite having all this free time on their hands.

THE CHALLENGE OF PRODUCTIVITY IN A COVID-19 WORLD


They are used to working or studying 14-hour days. Now that they’re home, why not use these 14 hours to study for the boards, acquire a new skill, make art, or do projects around the house they never had time for before? Instead, they report that they aren’t really doing much, that it feels like Groundhog Day, and they don’t recognize themselves.

As an experienced psychologist, I believe this is due to a low-grade, unconscious (or conscious) depression that is often hard for individuals to recognize and accept. The bottom line — these students have many reasons to feel out-of-sorts.

BUT THIS IS WHAT WE ARE TRAINING FOR

For the doers that they are, they are now forced to go against their nature. Many of them are prohibited from being on the front lines of the COVID-19 battle, which creates a feeling of helplessness or uselessness, much like an athlete being told not to train. This healthcare challenge is what many of these students signed up for, and it’s difficult to sit back and not help. They are also frustrated about missing out on training experiences that lead to an increased sense of competency.

If there is anything that training in the health professions teaches you, it is to feel guilty about every moment you are not efficient, productive, working hard, or doing something for the service of others. Students’ internalized expectations of themselves do not take into account the emotional and psychological toll of the COVID-19 pandemic. This expectation that one should be doing more creates a vicious cycle of self-berating and further depression.

All of us in the health professions, not just our students, often overlook our own losses as we focus on the losses of our patients and society. We need to allow ourselves to grieve and adjust to our own loss of daily interactions, loss of control, and loss of the sense of mastery and competence we feel when we are practicing our profession or building new skills.

Generally, we as humans don’t know how to be in a state of uncertainty or incompetency over conquering nature. We are used to having scientific answers to most of life’s challenges. Imagine the dismay for students in medical professions who have been immersed and trained in science-based learning; they are also trained to have a sense of agency to fix problems, both of which are lacking right now.
 
HOW TO NAVIGATE UNCERTAINTY 

The extent to which our advanced humanity has no scientific solutions to this pandemic is humbling and foreign in the 21st century, let alone to the healthcare professions, which have made great advancements in the last century. The fact that no one knows what to expect of COVID-19, how long this pandemic will last, whether we will have a resurgence of infections in the months to come, why people respond to the infection so differently, is the ultimate threat to a sense of medical competency and agency, especially when you have to “sit on the bench” while watching your teachers fight to save lives.

What do you do if you are feeling like this? Don’t try to be stoic. Don’t give up on trying to talk and connect with others, even if it’s through a screen. Our online support groups for students have validated this experience as being universal all across campus. This is a time to share your feelings and realize that you are not alone. You can find more resources below including tool kits, support groups, and contact information for clinical services.

Noa Heiman, PhD
Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry
University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus

Listen to Dr. Epperson talk with Dr. Heiman and Dr. Rachel Davis

Mind the Brain CME Information:
CME Survey for the May 4, 2020 Edition

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